Like I Never Was

You can go on with your life
Like I never was
A passion now lost
See what love does?
How can I move on?
Just a little hint or a clue
Why did you leave me?
Where was my mistake?
Or was it all a show
A love that was fake
You can continue living
But always remember
The pain you left me in
On that cold night in December

In Love With You

I dream,
Just to hold your hand, and
I am lost to imagination.
A sort of starry-eyed
Fascination.
I would die to touch your hair.
I could perhaps,
Collapse,
In a red-faced moment, shy.
I know you wonder why I sigh,
And swiftly look away.
It's just, you burn inside my heart,
But I hope you don't yet see me through.
I want to hide, but I fear it's clear to every eye,
That I am so in love with you . . .

   

I Will Draw

I will draw you a picture
I will draw it with a twist
I will draw it with a razor
I will draw it upon my wrist
If I draw this picture right
Then will come a beautiful sight
A sight of blood...of liquid red
All because of one of word
That was chose not said
But should I draw this for you?
Or how about just for myself?
No need to keep waiting
My whole life on a shelf
I look at myself and see nothing
No matter what I do
My life will keep sucking
Should I draw this picture for myself?
To be kept inside?
Or let it all come out
And kill myself?

I Want

You sat there
The way you sometimes act
Makes me wonder
How you feel
But I know how you feel
You barely feel
Feel for me
I want you to feel for me
I want you to need me
I want you to hold me
I fear this will never happen
I want to tell you
What I want
What I need
                                                     But I can't
                                                     I won't
                                                    Never will

Friend To All

Am I to remain forever
Friend to everyone
And lover to no one
By whose design
Was this cast
Or has all
Of my chances past
One died cold and alone
And the other
I walked away from
Disturbing visions
I want them to leave
Instead they keep
Haunting me
Of a red car
Speeding, driver drunk
Slams head on
Small black convertible
Kills the one I love
Devina, my life, my love

Do I Have To

Do I have to say goodbye to her?
If I don't
Won't she remain?
If I don't say goodbye
Will she still be alive?
My tears blind me
In a pain
That she must have felt
I couldn't help
For her pain I would have taken
Oh, how she must feel forsaken
By me, her friend
I shall remain till the end.

Come to me

Come to me
Softly
In the middle of the night
Take me to your world
For I am eager to go
Take me from this place
In which I live
I'm so very tired
Tired of my sorry
Mortal existence
Allow me
Free reign
In your world
I can no longer
Be accounted present for
Show me the
Wonders of
Immortal reality
        -Belle Mortum

Coldness At the End.

As your darkness
Creeps in
I feel my soul
Growing cold
The sharp bite
Of the blade
As it digs in
The welcome
Coldness
Of the blade
The warmth
Of my blood
As it spills
Down my skin
And the
Coldness
At the
End.

Cannot Know

I cry the tears you cannot see
I have the pain that you cannot feel
The bite of the blade
As the pain hits
I am released
I am beaten and broken
Yet these things leave me no scars
My pasted smile
My acted and practiced laugh
You couldn't tell when
I'm in pain
I shake from trying
Not to end it all now
I long to end it all now
Long to drive the blade in
All the way
I  long to feel the warmth
Of my blood
As it roles down my skin
I long to feel the
Coolness
At the end.

Arms Of Another Woman

In the arms of another woman
He is happiest
In the arms of another woman
He will never be mine
If he is truly happy
Then I will stand by
And suffer in my
Painful silence
In the arms of another woman
It is where he wants to be
In the arms of another woman
He is slowly killing me

Another One

Dying inside
Needing your touch
Looking at you is painful
I want you so much

I can't help but love you
And I believe that you know that
You have my heart
But treat it like trash

Going insane
Needing you near
Willing to sit by
With other women here

Sitting silently by
Crying on the inside
Letting you live your life
While I am dying inside

You have somehow
Managed to get in
When I swore I would not let you
Soon it is to be my end

Everyone knows
Everyone can see
But you seem to not know
And that hurts me

Another For Him

A kiss cooled by fire
Passions unrestrained
Lips which brought me pleasure
Now bring me pain

I cross seas of damaged dreams
On winds of yesterday
When I sought to draw you near
You deftly slipped away

The rain is my masquerade
Clouds are my disguise
Pools that are gathering
Flow from red stained eyes

Promises are shattered
Broken vows remain
My love grows stronger still
As I whisper your name
They turned you inside out

Our fates are locked together
In a death embrace
I pray you will return
Refill this empty space

And I do believe in miracles
Angels and devils as well
I am too bad for heaven
And too good for this hell

Am I Alive

Where am I?

Have I already gone?

Has my show ended?

What has happened?

I wasn't finished yet

I haven't told those I love goodbye

I want to hold my friends and cry

I cannot leave them now

For they are the only things

That keep me alive

Or kept me alive

A Plea

Turn, spinning as the wind is blowing
Goddess hear my cry, my plea
Send this one away from me
My temper boils, my body shakes
I do summon you
Athena and Isis
For strength and grace
The help that I ask for
Is so that I do not seriously
Harm the one who has wronged me
Guide me with the strength and grace
To walk away
Three times three times three
I ask that this be.